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Rule 65: Don’t Take My Pen

Joshua Lane / / 11 Comments

Why is it that people take my pens? I mean, seriously, what the fuck? I realize they’re pretty generic and not all that special, but they’re MINE. And when you take them, what am I left with? What happens when someone calls and I need to jot down some notes? What do I do when I get a sweet idea for how to build my robot? What am I to do when I have to pass a note during gym class?

See, it’s these sorts of questions an arrogant pen-stealer probably doesn’t ask themselves. They just think “hey, sweet pen! I could use one of those”. My response is simple, “hey, sweet arm… wouldn’t it look better with a cast on?”

Yeah, I went straight to physical violence… what of it? I think my parents would be proud :). But, what options do I have left? I mean, pen-stealer has already disregarded my property… why can’t I disregard his or her personal well-being? I think it’s a fair trade.

By the way… anyone got a pen?

Comments Abound

Delightful thoughts & feedback about this article

Jared Christensen /

Aim for the neck, man. Just below the Adam’s Apple. Take no prisioners.

Tim Crowe /

Rule 609: Shut up!

Patricia /

I use Pilot Precise V5s in blue or purple. No one else in the office uses them so it’s very obvious when someone has stolen one from me. Oh sure. They claim they picked it up by “mistake” but I know better and they also know better than to not return them. I don’t think any one of us is quite clear on just what would happen if my stash dwindled down to nothing but I also think they don’t ever really want to find out.

jojo /

Like your fat-ass was ever in gym class. ppfft.

bearskinrug /

Sheesh – if I had known you’d get so angry, I would have just taken your wallet.

cathy /

I use Staples black gel ink pen, I enjoyed reading this post. Pen are always missing from my desk

wayne /

have you ever seen the “kids in the hall” sketch about the pen guy? if you haven’t, you should check it out for some ideas about dealing with pen-stealers.

Niff /

poor josh. try having someone steal all the parts off your bike.

NOW that deserves some physcial violence!

Klaus /

Hehe, nice Story. And nice idea to blog your rules. May I steal the idea? Who cares …! I’ll do it anyway. May I give you a pen in exchange?

Jay /

HAHA.
im a pen theif =]
its fun.
i get free stuff

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